What do you do when you realize you are movin’ on up alone? That’s the question that fell on me as I stirred my curry in my quant kitchen this afternoon. I have this tendency that seems strange to some and that is to blurt out random facts and questions and the other is to sing old theme songs. And today I was getting down and jamming while reminiscing on The Jefferson’s. I began to tap my hand on the counter and sing “Movin’ on up”
Well we're movin on up,
To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up,
To the east side.
We finally got a piece of the pie.
Fish don't fry in the kitchen;
Beans don't burn on the grill.
Took a whole lotta tryin',
Just to get up that hill.
Now we're up in the big leagues,
Gettin' our turn at bat.
As long as we live, it's you and me baby,
There ain't nothin wrong with that.
And I concur; it’s nothing wrong with that. When you come from a single parent household or a two parent dysfunctional home, we all dream of something more. We dream of our own. Many moons have passed since I last lived in the home of my parent(s) because I began my quest and journey to find my own. And by the grace and protection of God, I have several notches in my belt that I should be and can be proud. I’m single, highly educated, and live in a beautiful community surrounded by lakes, beaches, even ducks (and alligators from time to time). I love the thrill of it all. Yet, when I stopped tapping to the beat and returned to my curry, my serenity had been interrupted with reality.
Reality is, I’ve lived on the east side, I much more prefer living on the West side as I do now. I have my deluxe apartment and according to my doctoral professor, I’m very much so privileged compared to the rest of the world. Therefore, I should enjoy my piece of the pie. We incur great responsibility with every slice, but let’s discuss that later. That’s a big bite to chew. My serenity was disturbed realizing that in the big leagues, more often than not, a woman of my caliber is single. By no means am I tooting my own horn or exemplifying arrogance, I’m stating hard core facts.
The fact is, or truth of the matter is, I was jamming singing my song. But when I got near the end and sang with great enthusiasm “Getting our turn at bat. As long as we live, it’s you and me baby…” and bam, I have no baby. I’m not referring to the little munchkins that bring people such great joy. I’m talking about the love of my life. So again, the question is what do you do when you realize you are moving up alone? There is only two things to do. One, follow your plan towards success that will bring about transformation for the good of all people. Secondly, realize that you are major and intricate part of all people and you too must become vulnerable in places where the heart matters. This is the only way, that I can see, that will allow people like me to experience it all at the top. Love, education, everything can be found when we relinquish some of this control that we all worked so hard to achieve.
It’s like we have to relinquish in order to acquire. So much of life is give and take. Love and the acquisition of love is no different. Stop telling people you want your cake and eat it too. When perfectly prepared battered enters into heat, it doesn’t retreat, it develops from the point of contact. Become a decadent dessert the world is waiting to see.